May 6, 2006

  • Reflective....

    all i did was just watch the trailer for the movie "united 93" and i started bawling.  watching what could have happened on that fateful flight on that horrible day made me remember and reflect the events that happened.  i remember crying on the way to work, calling my friend on his cell phone to ask him to call someone to let us know that he was okay and just getting his voicemail.  i remember going to work and my coworker laura coming into my cubicle and i just looked up with tears in my eyes and just her hugging and holding me.  i remember chris my friend and coworker holding me as i just broke down.  i remember the director pulling me into her office and trying to comfort me and telling me to go home and call her just so she knew i was okay.  i remember just crying the entire day and just taking off from work early because i couldn't take it anymore.  i thought i'd be okay you know?  it's been almost 5 years since this happened.  but just watching the trailer for "united 93" made me realize that i'm not 100% okay.  that it still hurts.  that it still affects me.  that i miss my friend so much.  i wish i could talk to him and just be with him for a few moments.  but i can't.  i can only do that in my dreams.  i miss him still.