November 21, 2006
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Just some random thoughts
i’ve realized that since i’ve become a mother, my life as it was before is really no longer the same. i don’t go out to party excessively on the weekends anymore, nor do i stay up late into the wee hours of the morning, or do the ‘things’ i used to prior to mila the monster coming along. sometimes i do miss the freedom and the spontenaiety of how life used to be compared to the excessive planning and packing and preparing just to go for an afternoon excursion with the 3 year old terror. i read my friends’, sister’s and some of her friend’s entries on xanga and it kind of reminds me of how life used to be. don’t get me wrong, life right now is pretty damn good – a bit on the boring side when it comes to the ‘single life’ experiences but still fun nonetheless. but i guess fun and new experiences on a different level. i do yearn for the ‘olden’ days per se. i wish i could just go head out with my bf to the clubs and meet up with friends to have a good time or just have a date night with him and have some adult / couple time / conversation. it’s been quite a difficult adjustment since mila the lil’ dictator came into our lives. learning that my needs and my wants come after hers was a real hard pill to swallow. i yearned to sleep whenever i wanted and sleep in as late as i used to only to be whacked back into reality that she was basically the ‘alarm clock’ and i would have to wake up and tend to her needs. it’s a lot easier now that she is older but there are days when it gets challenging. i’m finding that my patience wears thin a lot but at the same time i find that i have more patience than i used to. it’s all a balancing act. and i am still learning the fine line of it all. but in the end i realize how many blessings i have and i would not change a single event in my life. for all the hardships and all the wonderful moments in life, i am completely grateful. god has been good to ed and me. and i just need to remind myself daily that life is good and take it one day at a time.
