my sister left me a voicemail message crying inconsolably because my grandfather’s lung collapsed.  he had pneumonia earlier this month and as i was doing some research on collapsed lung tonight, it seems that spontaneous pneumothorax is caused by asthma, cystic fibrosis, chronic obstructive pulmonary disease and pneumonia.  i’m worried that his time is coming close to an end and i don’t want to think about it.  but it’s the facts of life.  he is 93 years old and it’s bound to happen sooner or later for him.  i’m just sad that he is going senile and doesn’t really remember me or my sisters or my mother for that fact.  i take comfort that he did have a moment of clarity one time that i visited him at the nursing home.  he was so happy to see me and i was so happy he realized who i was.  he even asked if the baby that i was holding was mine.  then his moment of clarity passed and he asked my grandmother who i was and who’s baby i was carrying.  i guess i should hold onto my many memories of him and cherish the few moments we still have with him.  i just hope he makes it through and makes a full recovery from this collapsed lung. 

i’ve realized that since i’ve become a mother, my life as it was before is really no longer the same.  i don’t go out to party excessively on the weekends anymore, nor do i stay up late into the wee hours of the morning, or do the ‘things’ i used to prior to mila the monster coming along.  sometimes i do miss the freedom and the spontenaiety of how life used to be compared to the excessive planning and packing and preparing just to go for an afternoon excursion with the 3 year old terror.  i read my friends’, sister’s and some of her friend’s entries on xanga and it kind of reminds me of how life used to be. don’t get me wrong, life right now is pretty damn good – a bit on the boring side when it comes to the ‘single life’ experiences but still fun nonetheless.  but i guess fun and new experiences on a different level.  i do yearn for the ‘olden’ days per se.  i wish i could just go head out with my bf to the clubs and meet up with friends to have a good time or just have a date night with him and have some adult / couple time / conversation.  it’s been quite a difficult adjustment since mila the lil’ dictator came into our lives.  learning that my needs and my wants come after hers was a real hard pill to swallow.  i yearned to sleep whenever i wanted and sleep in as late as i used to only to be whacked back into reality that she was basically the ‘alarm clock’ and i would have to wake up and tend to her needs.  it’s a lot easier now that she is older but there are days when it gets challenging.  i’m finding that my patience wears thin a lot but at the same time i find that i have more patience than i used to.  it’s all a balancing act.  and i am still learning the fine line of it all.  but in the end i realize how many blessings i have and i would not change a single event in my life.  for all the hardships and all the wonderful moments in life, i am completely grateful.  god has been good to ed and me.  and i just need to remind myself daily that life is good and take it one day at a time. 

for some strange reason i was in a major cleaning mode.  so i got down to business after i came back from dropping ed off to get a rental car.  i started with the kitchen then proceeded to the two bathrooms.  i grabbed my necessary instruments (comet, huge glass of water, disposable gloves, swiffer wet jet, swiffer wet cloths, swiffer wet jet pads, huge trash can and scrubbing sponges) and got down to business. . . i mean down to business literally.  i was on the ground on hands and knees scrubbing the living shit (not literally) off the floors.  there was so much crud on the floors that it was disgusting.  when i finally rinsed with swiffer wet jet, swiffer wet cloths and then dumped buckets of water on the kitchen floor and mopped it up with a towel the floor was the cleanest i had ever seen it.  after this “success” i proceeded to clean the entirety of ed’s bathroom.  that was some sick shit man.  the bathtub, the toilet, the sink / counter area, the mirrors and the floor all in that order.  after his bathroom i attacked my bathroom basically in the same order as ed’s.  let me just say that everything is spic and span.  i intend to keep it so by just minially cleaning up every few days or every weekend so that it stays so clean!!!  but damn all that scrubbing whilst on my hands and knees have made my knee caps tender.  maybe next time i should wear ed’s kneepads he uses when he is working on his car! 

i think i need to take a picture of the ugly ultra-seventies kitchen floor later and post.  dude.. it’s ugly… freaking olive / avocade green funky swirly pattern linoleum.  maybe i should get it replaced soon.  it’s FUGLY.

“i have a tiny turtle,

his name is tiny tim,

he put it in the bathroom,

teach him na na swim,

he drink up all the water,

he ate up all the soap,

now in the in the na na in his throat,

bubble, bubble, bubble, bubble, bubble, bubble, bubble, bubble, bubble,

POP!!!!”

does this song sound familiar deda? 

mila :  we love baby kyra

(repeat above statement multiple times til you can’t stand it no mo)

mila :  we love baby kyra, baby kyra’s mom, baby bob, syrup, pancake and i love daddy.

mila told me tonight that she was going to call her auntie ginger and auntie deda (olivia).  here is the IM verbatim that i sent to olivia . . .

just in case you need an idea for a christmas card, try this one on for size. . .

   gotta love the private body parts. . .

 For all you horny bastards . . .