November 2, 2005

• i found out on monday - halloween that a coworker of mine passed away in his sleep.  his son found him a few hours before the director told us.  it really hit me hard because i have worked with him for the past 5 years and he was always the most cheerful person.  he would always ask everyone "what's going on?" or since i had shortie, he would ask me how i was doing, how motherhood was for me, how shortie was.  the most eerie part of this whole situation is that i had just spoken with him on saturday during the last day of quarter end / year end and now he is no longer here on earth with us. 

  i know that life is very fragile.  i see it all the time with my own family - my uncle had a stroke and is in a convalescent home, my grandfather fell and hurt his hip and he is always transferred between the hospital and the convalescent home, my grandmother fell and hurt herself and is walking around with her walker and my other grandmother has cataracts and is starting to forget things when i talk to her.  all these events have made me realize that i need to really enjoy the moment and make the most out of life.  i also realize that i need to relax about stuff and not to sweat the small stuff because in the end those things i seem to get irritated by don't really matter.  i've been in such a melancholy state and i know it's affecting me because of everything.  i need to remember to love mila and ed a little more each day, not to get irritated or snap at them for things that really don't matter, to let them and my family know even when i'm mad that i love them and they mean so much to me.  i know such is the circle of life, so i want to make sure i do all i can to make sure i did my best each and every day. 

  R.I.P. my friend Bruce Carney.....

  • 4:29 pm
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