April 4, 2006

• just got back from la - went for ed's cousin's wedding in huntington beach and then visited my side of the family....

  the wedding was beautiful.... his family is huge!!! 

  went to see my grandfather and my two grandmothers...  it was nice to see them all but sad for me at the same time.  i see how much they've deteriorated since the last time i've seen them but they are still hanging in there.  my grandfather is in a convalescent home because he needs the 24/7 care.  it's hard to see someone who was so independent and so strong become so frail and weak.  he didn't recognize me this time.  even though i wrote my name in chinese for him on a piece of paper.  i even wrote that i was my mother's daughter and he looked so confused and kept saying my name in chinese as if he were asking if it were really me.  mila normally gets very shy and freaked out by new people she meets or people she hasn't seen in a long time.  she was neither scared nor shy with my grandfather.  she kept saying, "hi great grandfather" in chinese and talking to him.  it seemed like they had some kind of a connection or something.  the nurse that was taking care of him gave him four crayons and some sheets from a coloring book so he could color.  mila took the paper and put it in front of the both of them and handed him a crayon.  it was so cute and sweet to see the both of them coloring.  when i went to get something from my bag ed said that mila was holding my grandfather's hand for awhile and that my grandfather started to well up with tears and tears fell down his face.  i know his time is coming to an end.  he isn't the same but he is pretty good for 93 going on 94 years old.  i think i'm just sad because i know i will one day get a call that he has passed and i'm just trying to hold on to as many of the memories of him that i can. 

  

  • 6:26 pm
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